London, England. “The press have noticed us again since Ed attacked Donald Trump today,” claimed a Lib Dem spokesperson. “We’ve urged him to go one step further and call him a ‘Wankspangle’.”
“No one has paid us any attention since Ed fell off a paddle board last year. Journalists don’t care about our press releases on Education, Taxation, Threats from Russia or Crime. They do care when we insult other politicians. Ed is weighing up the advice from his team to go one step further and call the US president a ‘Wankspangle’.”
Liberal Democrat sources deny there are plans to call Nigel Farage a ‘Tosspot’ and Kier Starmer an ‘Insipid Poodle Turd’. They don’t deny having not bothered to think up an insult for Kemi Badenoch.